I Wanna Be The Very Best

For the last year and a half, I’ve worked part-time at (one of) my local Starbucks. It pays the bills while I’m trying to get my writing career off the ground, and since I’ve been there I’ve actually had a lot of fun — met great people, made good friends, thrived in a strong work environment, etc.

Anyway, Starbucks has this sort of extra training program you can do called Coffee Mastery. You spend some extra time training and learning, really get to know the 20+ coffees Starbucks sells, and at the end you become a certified Coffee Master.

A lot of people don’t do it. A lot of people just don’t care. I, on the other hand, saw an opportunity to learn, to enrich myself, to get a sweet slick black apron to wear at work and a fancy new title that I could lord over everyone else. A mere couple months into my time at Starbucks and I was a Coffee Master.

Now, another partner at our store is doing the Coffee Master journey, and it reminded me of something I wrote awhile back. I think it takes great gobs of geekiness to even think about something like this — and since a few friends of mine helped inspire it, I guess I surround myself with the same.

So this is the Coffee Master theme song, to the tune (and with many of the words) of a geeky classic.

Coffee Master Theme

lyrics by Lucas J.W. Johnson

I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was.

To taste them is my real test,

To sell them is my cause.

I will sample from across the land,

Searching far and wide

Each coffee bean to understand

The flavour that’s inside.


(Coffee beans, gotta taste ’em all) It’s you and me

I know it’s my destiny

(Coffee beans) Oh, you’re my best blend

In a world we must defend

(Coffee beans, gotta taste ’em all) An apron so true

Our French press will pull us through

You teach me and I’ll teach you

Coffee beans, gotta taste ’em all, gotta taste ’em all

Every coffee along the way

With courage I will taste.

I will sample every day

To claim my rightful place.

Come with me, the time is right,

There’s no better bean.

Arm in arm, we’ll win the fight,

It’s always been our dream.




Coffee beans!

1 comment on this post.
  1. Tressa:

    I LVOE U SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

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