Canada Soon

So a group of my friends (and I) are a little obsessed with a musician named Jonathan Coulton. Haven’t heard of him? Not really surprising. Let me enlighten you.

Jonathan Coulton used to work as a computer programmer before he decided to follow his dreams of being a musician. His song Still Alive was written for the popular video game Portal (possibly one of the best video games of all time). He writes geeky songs like the World of Warcraft parody lovesong Skullcrusher Mountain, the zombie song Re: Your Brains, the science fiction lovesong The Future Soon, and the computer programmer lovesong Code Monkey. They’re mostly hilarious and witty and sometimes touching and beautiful to boot. He rose to fame among his target geeky audience through the Internetz.

Did I mention he’s a total geek? It’s like every geek’s dream — computer programmer to  Internet rock star. Anyway, he’s pretty cool.

And a couple months ago, he was doing a concert in nearby Seattle and a few of us decided we needed to be there but we’re all kind of lazy too, so we didn’t get tickets until it was too late. And we cried a little.

In the wake of that, I took one of his songs, The Future Soon, and rewrote the lyrics. Here I am performing, Canada Soon.

Canada Soon

Last week I surfed upon the internets
Looking for tickets to a JoCo show
Turns out he’s more popular than I thought he was
Tickets are sold out and my friends are sad ‘cause
We had made plans for a road trip
Coming all the way down from some town in the North
But I know that we’ll survive, we’ll find something to do
While we wait for him to see that we love him too

Cause he better come to Canada soon,
It won’t always be this way
When the concerts that he plays at are so far, far away
He better come to Canada soon,
He must have other fans here
And with guitar strings breaking I can close my eyes, and he’s already here

I’ll sing his stuff at open mic night
Building his fanbase one drunk at a time
Spread the word about the Portal song
Bring geeks the gospel, show them there’s more where it came from
Shining the light on the ignorant
Converting them one YouTube clip at a time
I will do my best to warn them about the risk of office undead
I just always get Mr. Fancy Pants stuck in my head

But he better come to Canada soon,
It won’t always be this way
When the concerts that he plays at are so far, far away
He better come to Canada soon,
He must have other fans here
And with guitar strings breaking I can close my eyes, and he’s already

Here at work, they’ll wonder
As I bit by bit shed my dignity
But the sheer desperation will make him see
That we’re not just crazy left-wing peace-loving ultra-polite drug-addled tree-hugging beer-drinking maplephile gay commie hippies
Some of us are geeky left-wing peace-loving ultra-polite drug-addled tree-hugging beer-drinking maplephile gay commie hippies

I’ll see him blogging on his latest piece
We’ll buy it too, but with a conversion rate
Then pay a premium on duty fees
Yeah, we do so much more to prove our fandom
Or just pirate it
And we shuffle awkwardly
But hey, can’t you see by our pleas that we try
Deny it all you want, but we will not fade
We’ll do what we must even if we have to invade

Cause he better come to Canada soon,
It won’t always be this way
When the concerts that he plays at are so far, far away
He better come to Canada soon,
He must have other fans here
And with guitar strings breaking I can close my eyes, and he’s already here

Though the recording quality may not have been perfect (I have very high-quality equipment, you know [read: built-in webcam and microphone]), maybe it worked. JoCo is coming to Vancouver in February.

We got tickets as soon as they were available.

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