Canada Soon

So a group of my friends (and I) are a little obsessed with a musician named Jonathan Coulton. Haven’t heard of him? Not really surprising. Let me enlighten you.

Jonathan Coulton used to work as a computer programmer before he decided to follow his dreams of being a musician. His song Still Alive was written for the popular video game Portal (possibly one of the best video games of all time). He writes geeky songs like the World of Warcraft parody lovesong Skullcrusher Mountain, the zombie song Re: Your Brains, the science fiction lovesong The Future Soon, and the computer programmer lovesong Code Monkey. They’re mostly hilarious and witty and sometimes touching and beautiful to boot. He rose to fame among his target geeky audience through the Internetz.

Did I mention he’s a total geek? It’s like every geek’s dream — computer programmer to  Internet rock star. Anyway, he’s pretty cool.

And a couple months ago, he was doing a concert in nearby Seattle and a few of us decided we needed to be there but we’re all kind of lazy too, so we didn’t get tickets until it was too late. And we cried a little.

In the wake of that, I took one of his songs, The Future Soon, and rewrote the lyrics. Here I am performing, Canada Soon.

Canada Soon

Last week I surfed upon the internets

Looking for tickets to a JoCo show

Turns out he’s more popular than I thought he was

Tickets are sold out and my friends are sad ‘cause

We had made plans for a road trip

Coming all the way down from some town in the North

But I know that we’ll survive, we’ll find something to do

While we wait for him to see that we love him too

Cause he better come to Canada soon,

It won’t always be this way

When the concerts that he plays at are so far, far away

He better come to Canada soon,

He must have other fans here

And with guitar strings breaking I can close my eyes, and he’s already here

I’ll sing his stuff at open mic night

Building his fanbase one drunk at a time

Spread the word about the Portal song

Bring geeks the gospel, show them there’s more where it came from

Shining the light on the ignorant

Converting them one YouTube clip at a time

I will do my best to warn them about the risk of office undead

I just always get Mr. Fancy Pants stuck in my head

But he better come to Canada soon,

It won’t always be this way

When the concerts that he plays at are so far, far away

He better come to Canada soon,

He must have other fans here

And with guitar strings breaking I can close my eyes, and he’s already

Here at work, they’ll wonder

As I bit by bit shed my dignity

But the sheer desperation will make him see

That we’re not just crazy left-wing peace-loving ultra-polite drug-addled tree-hugging beer-drinking maplephile gay commie hippies

Some of us are geeky left-wing peace-loving ultra-polite drug-addled tree-hugging beer-drinking maplephile gay commie hippies

I’ll see him blogging on his latest piece

We’ll buy it too, but with a conversion rate

Then pay a premium on duty fees

Yeah, we do so much more to prove our fandom

Or just pirate it

And we shuffle awkwardly

But hey, can’t you see by our pleas that we try

Deny it all you want, but we will not fade

We’ll do what we must even if we have to invade

Cause he better come to Canada soon,

It won’t always be this way

When the concerts that he plays at are so far, far away

He better come to Canada soon,

He must have other fans here

And with guitar strings breaking I can close my eyes, and he’s already here

Though the recording quality may not have been perfect (I have very high-quality equipment, you know [read: built-in webcam and microphone]), maybe it worked. JoCo is coming to Vancouver in February.

We got tickets as soon as they were available.

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