Sometimes, my mind just won’t shut up.
It’s 1am as I scratch this out on a pad of paper, sitting in my bed. I’ve been trying to get to sleep for half an hour. Previously, I read, tried to write a blog entry, watched videos on YouTube, and decided my brain was too mush to get anything coherent down.
But then, it just wouldn’t shut up, in its mushiness. Since I turned my light off, I thought of two or three basic short story ideas, a few possible blog posts that would need more development (including this one), things I want to accomplish in the next year, and how much I could accomplish if I just didn’t need as much sleep, or could focus on writing more consistently while awake (after all, I spent a lot of Monday watching downloaded TV — but hey, I write that, so it’s research, right?).
Sometimes even when I sit down to write something specific, like a blog post, there’s just too much going on in my head. I start on one thread of an idea, and it leads me to another, and another, until I’ve lost the original thread — and more importantly, lost something I had originally planned to talk about.
Sometimes it’s just thta there are a lot of things I want to say — such was the case when I wrote The Power of Story. I had a ton of information I wanted to include, a bunch of topics I wanted to explore, and for the longest time I didn’t even know where to start with it all. I literally spent hours just looking at all the information I had before I wrote that essay, trying to figure out a way to organize it all that would ensure I talked about everything I wanted to talk about.
Other times, I wonder if I really have anything to say at all. Now, for instance — sure I can put a lot of words on a piece of paper about this, and they’re even all (mostly?) coherent. But am I actually saying anything? Am I adding anything useful to the body of text on the internet and in the world? And does it matter if I’m not? Sometimes I just want to say, “Hey, here’s something I like, and you should like it too, for these reasons.”
But by the time I might have written that, my mind has gone on to other things.